Of Knock Knock Jokes And Smeared Lipstick
by RainaValentinexx
Summary: In which a socially awkward and oblivious kazekage attempts to woo a certain bluenette with horrible jokes and terrible pick-up lines. Hinata clicked her tongue, "You sure have a weird way of flirting." Gaara rose the-area-where-his-right-eyebrow-would-be-if-he-ha d-a-right-eyebrow, "Is it working?"


Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Gaara and Hinata would end up together and life would be unicorns and rainbows.

"He's going to die alone."

Temari sighed, "He's young. Maybe there's still hope!"

"We have to be realistic here!"

Gaara stoically stared at his ignorant siblings, "I can hear you."

Kankuro leaned back into the club's booth that he currently shared with his siblings, "Gaara, you haven't had a girlfriend since what?!"

Gaara folder his arms together in annoyance as Kankuro began to sarcastically count on his fingers, "One, two, thr-since birth, Gaara! Birth!"

Temari massaged her temples together, "I have a husband. Kankuro's got a kid on the way and what do you have?"

"I have a village and two annoying siblings."

Kankuro pat his older sister's shoulder, "It's hopeless."

Temari ruffled her younger brother's hair, "You don't even put yourself out there."

"I go meet the wife candidates you choose for me. That is me putting myself out there," Gaara said with a puff of his cheeks.

"He needs to be more like his older brother. A ladies man."

Temari smacked her cheeky younger brother, "He's fine the way he is. He just needs to brush up on his socializing skills. When was the last time you bought a girl dinner, Gaara?"

"Yesterday."

"One that isn't Granny Chiho," Kankuro chimed in.

Gaara blinked.

Gaara moved his indifferent gaze away, "Never mind then."

Temari pointed an accusing finger toward Kankuro, "This is because you never took him to baseball games."

Kankuro pointed a thumb at Gaara, "Hey! It's not my fault he's a loser that no one's ever going to love!"

"I'm literally right here."

Temari scoffed, "So you're blaming it on me? I'm the one who who always tries to set him up with my friends. When they ask about his traits, you know what I say? He's a rich kazekage with no eyebrows and a past of homicidal tendencies. That doesn't usually score."

Gaara closed his eyes in annoyance, "Once again, I'm still here."

"Yeah?! Well, when I take him on double dates, he practically scares the girls half to death. Remember our date with the twins from the Sound Village? His date asked him what his favorite drink was and he said the blood of his enemies."

"I was attempting to make a joke."

"Attempting is the right word. We're going to have to get a mail-order bride for him."

Gaara stood up from the booth, "I'm walking away now."

He ignored his siblings' bickering as he walked towards the bar. He sat on the stool and ordered a Shirley temple, "Hey handsome. You look lonely."

Gaara blinked.

He shook his head, "How can I be lonely when this place is so crowded?"

He obviously can't identify a pick up line when one is presented to himself.

The brunette smiled seductively at him, "So what brings you around here?"

Gaara took a sip of his drink, "Want to hear a funny joke?"

The brunette rose an eyebrow, "Why not?"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Me."

"Me who?"

"No, seriously, it's just me. I am telling a knock knock joke. Get the joke?"

The brunette nodded and began to slowly walk away, "I think I left my washing machine on. I've gotta go. Bye."

Gaara waved good bye to her and sighed into his drink, "If it's any consolation, I thought your joke was funny."

Gaara looked to his right as a bluenette slipped into the bar stool next to him, "It was hilarious."

Hinata giggled and politely nodded, "Of course it was."

"You seem familiar," Gaara narrowed his eyes at her.

"Wait, aren't you that girl that the Leaf Village Hokage left at the alter for Sakura?"

Hinata clicked her tongue in surprise, "You're not very good at this whole spontaneous flirting thing, are you?"

"On the day of the wedding, he dumped you for the maid of honor, is that incorrect?"

Hinata stared a nonchalant Gaara, "That is correct."

"What are you doing in the sand village?"

Hinata sighed and began to play with the umbrella in her drink, "Naruto kept begging for forgiveness. He keeps coming to my house with gifts and sending them, hoping to savor our friendship or whatever is left of it. He's very stubborn. i just needed some air and so I left the village for a little while."

"Did you come alone?"

Hinata shook her head, "My best friend, Ino, invited me to tag along with her husband on their vacation. Ino wanted to go clubbing so she dragged us here. I'm too depressed to dance."

"Pretty girls shouldn't be sad."

Hinata blushed and looked away, "I'm not pretty."

Gaara sympathetically pat her shoulder, "Just because the love of your life dumped you for a woman that he finds more attractive than you, doesn't mean you're not pretty."

Hinata let out a hearty laugh, "Gosh, you sure know how to cheer a girl up."

Sarcasm intended.

Gaara blinked and nodded, "It's your turn."

Hinata knitted her eyebrows together, "My turn to what?"

"Your turn to tell me I'm pretty. That's what happens in my sister's love novels. I tell you that I find you attractive and you're supposed to tell me the same. Trust me on this. This is exactly how things go down in romance novels."

Hinata bit her lower lip to bite back a laugh, "I do find you attractive if that's what you're indirectly trying to ask me...but please tell me more of these romance novels that you read."

"It depends on what you prefer. What kind of romances do you prefer?"

Hinata let out a short lived hum, "I like forbidden stuff. Bad boy kind of stuff, you know what I mean? Like twilight!"

Gaara narrowed his eyes at her, "Are you trying to suggest that I bite you like a mythical vampire? Because if you're into that kind of stuff, I guess I can deal with your strange fetish."

Hinata erupted into laughter, "How'd you even come to that conclusion? All I said was that I liked twilight."

Gaara shook his head, "I'm sorry. That was the message that I was getting from you. If you never wish to talk to me, I'll understand."

"You're a funny guy, Mister Kazekage."

"My name is Gaara...and you think I'm funny?"

Hinata nodded and a smile slid its way onto his lips, "Mhmm."

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Hatch."

"Hatch who?"

"Bless you. Get it? Hatch who sounds like you've just sneezed."

It's pretty hard to laugh at a joke when the person telling the joke has a stoic, poker face on.

Hinata blinked and Gaara shook his head, "Okay so a moose walks into a store. He asks the clerk where aisle seven is and then clerk says..."

"What does he say exactly?"

"He says moose can't talk!"

Hinata awkwardly scratched her neck, "That's it? That's the joke?"

Gaara stoically nodded, "Get it? Moose can't talk so how did he ask about aisle seven?"

Hinata clicked her tongue, "You sure have a weird way of flirting."

Gaara rose the-area-where-his-right-eyebrow-would-be-if-he-ha d-a-right-eyebrow, "Is it working?"

Hinata chuckled, "You tell me."

She leaned over and pressed her plump lips against his for a chaste kiss. She pulled away as she felt him smile into her lips, "I knew someone, someday would find my jokes funny."

Hinata playfully rolled her eyes, "That's such a romantic thing to say after a kiss."

"Allow me try again then."

He cautiously pressed his lips against her, "I'm a sucker for a pucker."

Hinata let out a hearty laugh, "You still don't have it right. You have some of my lipstick smeared on your lips."

Gaara briefly touched his lips and looked at his fingertips. He looked back into her grey orbs, "Want to smear some more on my lips?"

Gaara slung an arm over her shoulder and brought her closer to his built chest. Hinata giggled and slid her arms in the back of his neck, "How bold, ."

Gaara rubbed his nose against hers, fully prepared to dive in for another spine tingling kiss, "Don't call me so formally."

Hinata bit his lip and slightly pulled it back before letting go, "What do I call you then?"

"You can call me anytime," Gaara said as he awkwardly winked, (more like twitched) and kissed her once again. He pulled his head back, "Get it? You asked what do you call me and I said anytime as in I'd like it if you-"

Hinata put her slender index finger over his lips, "I get the joke. Less jokes, more of the touching of the mouths."

Hinata slid her head closer to Gaara's to kiss those glorious lips once again but a persistent tap on her shoulder caught her attention, "Ino? What's wrong?"

Ino awkwardly waved at Gaara and pulled Hinata, "There's a problem. A guy accidentally touched my boob and now...well, Sasuke has his sharingan activated and we have to go! We have to leave now."

Hinata looked at an anxious Ino and then at Gaara and then back at Ino, "Wait for me in the car. I'll be quick."

Ino nodded and desperately walked away while yelling, "Damn it Sasuke! I told you not to bring your sword!"

Hinata looked left and right in the bad counter. She took the napkin and placed his drink elsewhere. She dug in her pocket and took out her lipstick. She uncapped it and screwed it to the top then began writing . Gaara dumb fondly placed his hand over hers, "What are you doing? That is a waste of lipstick."

Hinata arched her right eyebrow, "So you don't want my number?"

Gaara took his hand off her and let her continue her previous actions, "It was an ugly shade of lipstick anyway."

Hinata laughed and slipped the napkin to him, "That's my number and the hotel I'm staying at. Good night, Mr. Comedian."

She stood up and began to walk away. Gaara quickly stood up and gently grabbed her arm, "Wait, I have one more joke."

Hinata sighed, "Shoot it."

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Me when I go pick you up for our date tomorrow at eight o'clock."

Hinata laughed and winked at him as she walked away, "I liked that the best."

She soon disappeared into the crowd and Gaara clutched his upper left chest while a sigh escaped his lips. He walked over back to his siblings whom were still arguing and slipped back into the booth, "Please stop fighting."

Temari and Kankuro froze with their hands tangled in each others' hair and scratches on their faces. They let go of each other while composing themselses and stared at the lipstick on his lips. Kankuro turned towards Temari, "Welp, congratulations, Temari. You've turned him gay. It's okay Gaara. We still love you nonetheless."

"You're the one who always steals my make up, Kankuro! He learned it from you..but he's right, Gaara. We'll love you whether you're wearing pants or a dress."

Gaara shook his head, "I have a date...with a female."

His obnoxious siblings' jaws dropped, "It's not April Fools' day Gaara!"

"Who is it? Tell your big sister."

Gaara took a napkin from the table and wiped the lipstick off his lips, "The Hyuga girl that Naruto left at the altar a year ago. She kissed me multiple times, laughed at my jokes, and gave me her number and her hotel's address."

Kankuro and Temari looked at each other and then at Gaara, "Was she drunk?"

"Is she a masochist?"

"Did you bribe her?"

Temari sighed, "Now, now Gaara. What did we tell you about threatening people? Especially into dates."

Gaara ignored the rude comments erupting from his siblings. He would need a good joke as an ice breaker for their date tomorrow but what would he use?

Gaara's thoughts finally got the perfect joke for the girl whom had abruptly stolen his heart.

'Knock knock.'

'Who's there?'

'Not Naruto because he left you at the altar.'

Gaara smiled.

That would most definitely be the joke that would ensure her love for him.


End file.
